The Paradox of Purpose: Why We Exist in the First Place

人活着就是为了死亡

A deep reflection on life, death, and the architecture of meaning

I recently stumbled upon a Chinese TikTok post that said, with startling bluntness: “人活着就是为了死亡” Means “People live to die”.

At first glance, it sounds brutal, almost nihilistic. But the more I sat with it, the more I realized how much clarity hides inside that one sentence. It’s a reminder that life is finite, fragile, and never guaranteed. And perhaps, the very fact that death is inevitable is what gives life its texture, urgency, and depth.

Beyond Titles and Labels

We spend so much of our lives chasing roles and identities: student, employee, manager, parent, achiever. These labels help us navigate society, but they aren’t the essence of living. If all we live for is to stack titles like Lego blocks, then the TikTok line slices through the illusion: none of those will follow us past the grave. So what’s left when you strip away status? Experience. Relationships. Growth. The small, luminous moments like laughter that can’t be faked, a conversation that shifts your perspective, the quiet satisfaction of overcoming something you once thought impossible.

Death as Teacher, Not Enemy

To say “we live to die” is not to glorify despair. It is to acknowledge reality. Death is not a glitch in the system. It is the bookend that frames the story. Without it, our days would blur endlessly, stripped of urgency or meaning. When we accept death as teacher, life becomes a classroom where every experience is both practice and preparation. Preparation not in a grim, fatalistic way, but in the sense of learning how to let go, how to forgive, how to leave things better than we found them.

Purpose as Practice

If life is bound for death, then purpose cannot be a trophy we display. It has to be something we practice daily. Purpose isn’t discovered in a single flash; it’s shaped through rhythm, repetition, and ritual. Saying what matters now instead of waiting for “someday.” Building systems of care: for family, friends, even strangers. Turning empathy into small actions that outlast the moment.

Purpose is less about what you call yourself and more about what you consistently create, even in tiny, almost invisible ways.

The INFJ Lens

As an INFJ, I tend to see patterns beneath the surface. I feel the pull to make sense of contradictions. And here’s the paradox I can’t escape: if we live only to die, then the only sane response is to live fully: to create, connect, and commit. We cannot control the ending. But we can control the narrative arcs in between: the projects we build, the people we touch, the ways we stitch our private reflections into something that quietly serves others.

Living as if It Matters

So perhaps the real purpose of life isn’t some grand cosmic assignment. Maybe it’s as simple and as difficult as this: to live in such a way that your days add up to something you’re not ashamed to leave behind.

We live to die, yes. But in between, we live to love, to learn, to grow, and to design a life that would feel tender to part with.

And that, to me, is enough.

The Quiet Truth About Why I Don’t Feel Proud

During a recent company meeting, I was asked to share what I had been working on. I provided a brief update. As I finished, my boss smiled. He said, “You must be proud of your work.”

Then again, just a moment later,
“Really, you should be proud of what you’ve done.”

I smiled politely and nodded. But something about his words lingered long after the meeting ended.

In the days and weeks that followed, a quiet restlessness settled in.
I found myself circling around a question I didn’t even know I needed to ask:
Why don’t I feel proud?

And it’s not just about work.

After completing my Master’s oral defense in March, I received many kind messages.
“Congratulations!”
“You must be proud of yourself!”
“You’ve come so far!”

But inside? I didn’t feel that rush of pride others expected me to have.
There was no emotional high. No inner cheer.
Just… a calm. A stillness.

And that calm started to bother me.
Not because it felt wrong, but because it felt so different from how others described “success.”
I began to wonder:
What exactly is pride?
How do I define it?
And why don’t I seem to feel it the way others do?

At one point, I even questioned if something was wrong with me.

Because in a society that constantly celebrates visible achievement and bold confidence, not feeling proud can feel like you’re somehow lacking.
Like you’ve missed a key emotional milestone that everyone else naturally hits.

But recently, during a quiet morning of reflection, things became clearer.

I realised I’ve never been someone who seeks recognition.
I don’t chase applause.
I don’t do things to be seen.

I’ve always been driven by a deeper, quieter purpose:
To do things right. To live in alignment with my values. To act in ways I won’t regret.

So maybe I don’t resonate with the idea of “pride” in the conventional sense.
Because my satisfaction doesn’t come from praise.
It comes from integrity.

I don’t measure my life by trophies or titles.
I measure it by whether I can sleep at night with a clear conscience.
Whether I’ve stayed true to what I believe in, even when no one’s watching.

So no, there’s nothing wrong with me.

I’m just not wired to feel pride the way others do.
And I’ve come to see that as a quiet strength, not a flaw.

In a world that’s constantly pushing us to be proud of ourselves, maybe choosing to be at peace with ourselves is the most powerful thing we can do.

New Beginnings: A Letter of Intentions and Aspirations for 2024

Dear Reading Self,

Happy New Year! As we step into 2024, it’s a moment to pause, reflect, and set intentions for the year ahead. This letter serves as a reminder of your aspirations, hopes, and the promises you’ve made to yourself.

Remember, this year is about growth and pushing beyond your comfort zones. Embrace new challenges and opportunities, knowing they are stepping stones towards achieving your dreams. Stay true to your values and beliefs, as they are your guiding light.

In moments of doubt or difficulty, recall your strengths and past triumphs. Let them fuel your confidence and determination. Surround yourself with positivity and people who uplift you. Their support is invaluable.

Focus on your health – both mental and physical. A balanced lifestyle is crucial for your well-being and will empower you to tackle your goals with vigor. Explore new hobbies, travel to places you’ve never been, and read books that expand your horizons.

Next, fitness isn’t just a goal; it’s a lifestyle. This year, commit to making physical health a priority. Remember, consistency is key. Whether it’s a daily jog, yoga, or hitting the gym, find activities that you enjoy and make them a part of your routine. Celebrate the small victories – each step, each lift, each stretch is progress.

Don’t forget the power of a balanced diet. Nourish your body with foods that energize and heal. It’s not about strict diets but about making mindful choices. Learn to listen to your body’s needs – sometimes it’s a salad, other times it’s a slice of pizza. Balance is essential.

Rest is equally important in your fitness journey. Your muscles need time to recover and your mind needs time to rejuvenate. Ensure you’re getting enough sleep and practicing stress-reducing activities like meditation or reading.

Financially, continue to be wise with your spending and investments. This year, make it a point to learn more about financial planning and wealth management.

Lastly, remember to give back to your community and those in need. Your kindness and generosity can make a world of difference in someone’s life.

Here’s to a year filled with joy, success, and personal growth. Believe in yourself, and the universe will align in your favor.

With optimism and excitement for what lies ahead,

Future Self

How to Stay Focused and Accomplish Your Goals in 2023

It has always been a habit to reflect on the past year we have all had in 2022. We has been living with COVID-19 for close to three years now, and has said it plans to treat the disease as endemic. Meaning that it continues to circulate at low levels in the population and causes occasional outbreaks. With this, most COVID-19 travel measures has been removed for fully vaccinated individuals.

2022 has had trials and tribulations for most of us. We can all look back on the year we’ve experienced appreciate all of the wonderful times, and take lessons from the not so great moments. Learning from experiences is a growth. Every win and every challenge opens up a door for discovery and opportunities.

Now, 2023 is here. The new year is all about becoming a better version of yourself and who you would like to bring into the new year. The start of each New Year is a time to reflect on the year just past and make plans for the future. It holds a special magic, with a promise of new opportunities and the possibility to change our lives for the better. It’s also a great time to bond over old memories as you endeavor to make more.

Setting goals can be a helpful way to focus your efforts and work towards achieving what you want in life. Here are a few tips that you can follow to set goals for 2023:

1. Reflect on what you want to achieve: Take some time to think about what is most important to you and what you want to accomplish in the coming year. Consider your values, strengths, and areas for improvement.

2. Make your goals specific and measurable: Instead of setting a general goal like “get in shape,” try setting a specific goal like “lose 5 kg weight” or “run a 5k.” This will make it easier to track your progress and stay motivated.

3. Set achievable goals: It’s important to set goals that are challenging, but also realistic and achievable. Consider your current circumstances and resources when setting goals to ensure they are within reach.

4. Set a deadline: Having a deadline can help you stay focused and motivated. Make sure to set a specific date for achieving your goal.

5. Make a plan: Break your goal down into smaller, actionable steps and create a plan for how you will achieve each one. This will help you stay on track and make progress towards your goal.

6. Monitor your progress: Regularly review your progress and adjust your plan as needed. Celebrate small victories along the way and don’t be too hard on yourself if you encounter setbacks.

Life is unpredictable and things don’t always go as planned. Therefore, it is important to be flexible and adapt to change. The choices we make and the actions we take can have a profound impact on our lives and the lives of those around us. Do be mindful of this and consider the consequences of every actions taken.

Image taken from Genting Highland, Chin Swee Caves Temple

Since the horse is a majestic animal that embodies the spiritual power of independence, freedom, nobleness, endurance, confidence, triumph, heroism and competition, I hope 2023 be the year we tap frequently into the power of strength, courage, and freedom to find true peace and grow into the best version of yourself.

Get ready for a year of amazing blessings!

“Today I choose life. To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices–today I choose to feel life, not to deny tmy humanity but embrace it.”
– Kevyn Aucoin

2021 Done, What’s Next?

The year 2021 had been a year where we all learn to live with Covid-19. For some of them, it could be a truly hopeful year where they seized the opportunity to go on trips or visit family and friends back home. Around the world, people have similar reactions to this “new normal” and build consensus around them. Perhaps three words to sum up 2021 will be living through choice.

The greatest shifts in my own life have come from living more intentionally. Intentionally living is asking myself why I do things and then being happy with the answers. If I am not happy with what I see, I will make changes accordingly. No one has everything figured out, but it’s okay to make mistakes. Nothing changes unless I take the courage out to make it happen. So I decided to do what matters most to me. From choosing to prioritize experiences, family, play, connection, exploration, and my health. Choosing to prioritize them now created a structural shift in how I live which requires leaving permanent changes in my behaviours. With consistency and perseverance, those small and repeated efforts made were the conscious decision to elevate one’s life priorities.

I came to realize that it won’t always be easy, but it’s better than living life feeling empty and exhausted. There is no finish line. Little by little with constant communication with yourself and making small adjustments every day will create a life in which you matter.

On the whole, we have to accept life is nothing more than a series of choices, and that we have a say in these choices. Let’s see this through to 2022. What would make your life more meaningful? It doesn’t just happen so the decision has to start somewhere. Starting making that choice to manifest the things that matter to us. Let’s stay focused on the things that matter.

“Plant seeds every single day that you know who you are, you know what you’re about, and you know what goals you’ve set for yourself.” – Stephen Curry, Athlete

A Gentle Reminder to Self

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Today, when I was browsing my Straits Times epaper as my usual morning routine, an article titled “Secret to success at Crystal Jade: Loyal staff” in the business section captured my attention. It reminded me as one of the happiest places on earth to work with low turnover rate and low workplace political rate.

Offices politics is a very commonly hear taboo in every organisation one works in. Office politics can be vicious, and power struggles in the company. Not only politics reduces the productivity of individuals, it also leads an organization to be at a loss.

It really makes me wonder why do people have to resort to backstabbing to win the battle of office politics? Does it do any good for the person who backstabs someone and win the battle?

At my personal level, it really makes me feel that the world is untrustable. Our society is so fragmented that there is no workplace where we can feel truly safe. For example, whenever we are interacting with each other, you do not know whether the next moment will that someone backstab you or badmouthing about you. That person can put on masks and behave accordingly with all sort of props to create a ‘fake-good reality’ and act inappropriately to achieve changes that benefit the individual’s power and authority.

Does this sounded familiar? I guess in every workplace there will be people that seems to be unauthentic, fake, and untrustworthy. It’s inevitable. We cannot hide from the world, but we can choose who to surround ourselves and our lives. There’s some things in life that are under your control and there’s something that just aren’t (for example, words uttered from others). For things that aren’t under control, just let them run their course.

I believe that each person comes into this world has some message to be delivered. We are not here accidentally. What’s matter is finding the courage to live that authentic self full out.

No matter who you try to impress or what dreams you think you should give up on, we’re all still going to die. Be who you think you should be.

Meaningful or Meaningless

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“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” – Mahatma Gandhi

I am the only one. But, I am one that I cannot do everything. However, I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.

I have been thinking and talking about the meaningfulness of life and/or work with my friends and colleagues. I am on fire at work working with lazy people  when boss isn’t at work. Literally, when the boss is on leave, the co-workers slack off. For instance, they frequent visit the restroom, surf the web all day or even messaging at their desk, while I am hustling to keep up with my daily workload.  Perhaps, it is not uncommon to come across “snake” co-workers. And, it is not easy to deal with them.

Specifically, a thought came to my mind at that point of time. Why I spend nearly all your waking hours working to get “shits” done? Am I here to show up to waste my time and energy on being angry or annoyed about those lazy colleagues?

I am a firm believer that human beings are the narrative throughout their life. That is, we, as living creatures should live our life to our fullest to love for something that are guided by reasons of love.

Shouldn’t we be living our life absolutely to the fullest? As, we all die in the end. I get real pissed off seeing those slackers at work which triggers me to ponder upon the real meaningfulness in life and work.

In fact, most part of our lives, we spend working to become a people-pleaser. With that, we measure our happiness in terms of how successful we are in these roles.

More precisely, I want to say something. That is, every human beings is at the core of our ability to live meaningful lives. People sometimes judge upon them with envy or admiration. Often, the need for meaning is connected to the sense that one’s life is empty or shallow.

To have a life that not only seems meaningful but is meaningful, the objective aspect is as more important as the subjective.

According to the Stanford research project, social psychologists explored the key differences between lives of happiness and meaningfulness. While the two are similar, dramatic differences exist. That is, one should not underestimate the power of meaningfulness. “The quest for meaning is a key part of what makes us human,” the researchers concluded.

Comparatively, the recognition of meaningfulness as a value has for our concept of self-interest. A life of meaning is more deeply tied to a valued sense of self and one’s purpose in the larger context of life and community.

In other words, whether one’s life or work is meaningful or meaningless, it is all dependence on our interest in being able to see our lives as worthwhile from some point of view external to ourselves, and our interest in being able to see ourselves that enhances its life even if one is unaware of it. For this reason, the whole is greater than the sum of its part.

“People have strong inner desires that shape their lives with purpose and focus – qualities that ultimately make for a uniquely human experience.” – Jennifer Aaker  (Social psychologist)