My Personal Reflection

22/01/201623/08/2026 / Wen / Leave a comment

“All this while what am I chasing for?” I asked myself.

I race and I chase, all so that I can make more money, have more success, and hopefully be happier in some distant future when I’ve hit some superficial and randomly selected target.

But will that day ever arrive? You and I both know how this game goes: the wanting for more never ends; and happiness will always (unless we intervene) appear to be just a reach away, in “some day” land, when we’ve finished this project or have reached that goal. We stride through life as if we will live forever. We treat time as a cheap commodity that we blindly waste. We become consumed by negativity. We hide behind victim stories.

We get stuck in jobs and relationships that we dislike. We distract ourselves with the noise of media and other people’s opinions. We compete over status and owning stuff. We buy into the empty promises of luxury products, all of which are illusions fabricated by marketers. Unable to forgive, we hold on to the pain and we blame people, things, and circumstances for our unhappiness. We surround ourselves with anxiety, stress and depression. Failing to recognize that these “dis-eases” and uncomfortable emotions are our soul’s way of saying, “Wake up! It’s time for a change. This isn’t working.” We give up on our purpose, and trade our lives in exchange for money so that we can make a living. While making money to sustain our needs is inevitable, in the making of a living we sometimes forget our unique gifts, we temporarily lose touch with the enormity of our inner being, and we distance ourselves from the confidence of our unique expressions. In a race to survive, we become mentally paralyzed, like a dove whose wings have been clipped and soon forgets that she can fly. It’s all so exhausting. It’s overwhelming. There’s no end to the madness of chasing. So many of us rush though life in this way, oblivious to the preciousness of whom we are and unaware of the beauty, wealth, abundance, love & opportunities that surrounds us. And before we know it, the sands of our hourglass run out, and we face the end of our brief existence on this planet, unfulfilled and regretful for all that we’ve missed. I know this may sound harsh, and it is. Viewing how we live in its blunt, naked candour can feel rough around the edges.

It’s time to restructure our lives. It’s time to restructure how we live, how we prioritize, how we contribute, and how we can live more fully in the precious moments we are blessed with. Perhaps, the only thing that matters is love.

Perhaps, all the chasing we do is just misdirected energy.

Perhaps, all the stress is unnecessary.

Perhaps, we are making life a lot more complicated than it needs to be.

Perhaps, it’s possible (and necessary) to forgive and to let go of our painful past.

Perhaps, there’s an easier route to happiness, by focusing on doing good work, contributing value to society, sharing joyful experiences with people we like, and remembering to slow down to savor the moments.

The Meaning of Life

So what is the meaning of life? What is the purpose of life?

I don’t think any single answer can be ubiquitously shared and be applicable for everyone. So I’ll answer for myself, from my current state of understanding. I think the meaning of life is what ever meaning we give it, and we can literally give it any meaning that “feels right” to us. There’s a blank canvas in front of you. You are the artist of your life, and you are free to paint any picture that pleases you, and change it at any time for that matter.

What “feels right” to you? What do you want your life to mean? What do you want your life to be about?

I think the purpose of life is to discover what makes you happy, and then go do more of it. The most interesting answer I’ve heard to “What is the purpose of life?” came from somebody. She said: “The purpose of life is to do what makes you come a live. When you stop, you die.”

For me, the definition of real success in life is not determined by the education obtained, institutions attended, career accomplishments, awards won, or the wealth I’ve acquired. Real success in life is solely determined on who you become, the character and attributes you develop, the people you help, and whether or not at the end of the day you were true to the most important priorities in life – namely the God & Family.

So, what makes me to come alive?

Parting Words on Life Meaning

The pointers it can be summarized by the following:

Life is pretty short.

Life is precious.

Life keeps no one waiting.

Life is always full of ups and times.

What are you dreaming about?

Go do it. Go make it happen.

Go do it despite fear and doubt and the opinions of others.

Go do it, because it makes you happy.

Go do it, because it makes you come alive.

Who are you holding a grudge against?

Decide to forgive them, today, right now.

Decide that you will heal, and decide to tell a different story.

Give yourself permission to be free, because you are.

Where do you want to visit?

Start planning for it, even if you don’t yet have the money.

Keep moving in that direction, and I promise you that you will find a way.

Who do you love?

When you’re with them, give them your full attention.

Create the time and space to connect with them. Put love at the top of your list.

In the end, love is all that matters. Love for our selves, for other people, for our work, for all the unique experiences of life.

Life is simple, but we insist on making it complicated. Let’s make it simple again, by focusing on what matters.

Eight Nostalgia Recollection

29/11/201523/08/2026 / Wen / Leave a comment

“It’s strange how memory gets twisted and pulled like taffy in its retelling, how a single event can mean something different to everyone present.” ― Lisa Unger, Beautiful Lies

It’s been a long time ever since I wrote my last blog post. How time has flies! Within this period, I have had many incredible experiences with valuable lessons.

Although some lessons must be learned through experience, I do not have to wait until midlife to become aware of what’s truly meaningful and worthwhile. I simply have the curiosity and desire for self-awareness and personal growth. Once I’ve learn the following lessons, I can apply them in your life at any age and see the benefits to your happiness and well-being.

Lesson Number 1: Every little bit helps

To me, not every action have a huge production with enormous obvious results. Keep plugging away at what matters the most and know you are working toward an important goal. At the end of the day, what matters most are the people in our lives. Put them first every single day. Treat them like they are everything to you.

Lesson Number 2: Anger begets anger

The feel-good release of anger lasts only a few minutes. The repercussions last far longer. Regret, stress, and unhappiness are the by-products of angry outbursts. I am learning healthier ways to communicate your feelings, and when anger arises, step away until it dissipates.

Lesson Number 3: Kindness matters

We have no idea what the other person is going through. This could be the worst day of their life. Take deep breaths and count to ten before you act or respond to them. Small expressions of helpfulness have an tremendous positive impact on other people. It doesn’t take much to be kind. Practice it every day, in every situation, the payoff is so worth it.

Lesson Number 4: Life isn’t fair. Just get over it

I don’t know why anyone thinks life owes them anything. Complaining and whining isn’t give us what we want. Therefore, stop whining and move on. Learning from mistakes and try not to repeat them again. by sharing your mistakes with others, they might learn from each other.

Lesson Number 5: This too, will pass

Whatever is causing you to worry or feel pain right now, this won’t cause you worry and pain forever. Time heals. Things change. This will pass. It’s just a matter of time.

Lesson Number 6: I cannot control others

We want people to think and behave as we do. We want them to accommodate us and live the way we think they should live. We want to change them. But with awareness, I realize that we can’t and shouldn’t try to control others. Instead, we must try to embrace the differences and honour the uniqueness of the people in your life. Every single person has a individuality identity.

Lesson Number 7: Do the work

If you want something in life, you must do the work to achieve it. There are really no shortcuts to get the outcome one desires. But truthfully the work is what affords the most sense of accomplishment.

Lesson Number 8: Your words matter

The words we speak have power. By considering carefully the choice of words, it might discourage any clashes in communication. Use them for good rather than harm. Once they are out, you can’t take them back.
All of these lessons have been a part of my life. Some I still handle nervously with, others I feel like I am slowly mastering it. Each day brings new challenges and with it new opportunities to do things in a right way.

“It’s only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth – and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up – that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.”― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Just Like Everybody Else

10/07/201523/08/2026 / Wen / Leave a comment

Every single time fear can make us afraid of what others will think. It’s not that people might judge you; they will judge you. The more we worry about missing out on things, the more of our actual life is consumed by worrying about what we’re missing. Constantly checking in on everything takes us out of the present and put us into observing someone else who is only partially being present.

Whenever, I have nothing to do I will daydream. People will say me weird. Being weird is really just being my honest, unique self. The more I try to fit in or blend in, the less authentic I tend to be.

We’ve been taught in school or in corporate jobs that being unique isn’t good. Always be professional. Don’t stand out too much. So, we will try to mask our weirdness by wearing suits or grey skirts and use the latest marketing jargons.

To me, I care less. I feel like I’m on my path when I’m doing work that matters – what matters to me might not be important to someone else. When I’m doing something valuable and I feel good about it, I can be fairly certain that I do my best. So why fear how people think of you? That’s okay. Because we’ve all got bills to pay and life to manage.

On the whole, stick to your values, follow your true instincts and fulfilment are all the work that matters.

The Future Isn’t Now

10/07/201523/08/2026 / Wen / Leave a comment

“What matters is to live in the present, live now, for every moment is now. It is your thoughts and acts of the moment that create your future. The outline of your future path already exists, for you created its pattern by your past.” – Sai Baba

Going my own way, down a path no one has ever forged, is scary. It’s not enough to be curious and to be myself; I’ve actually got to do real work. Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my future. I’ve always been employed. My job requires me to work less than twenty-five hours monthly as a full-time assistant teacher in an enrichment centre. The rest of my time is being utilized to do badminton coaching, private tutoring, and studying part-time degree program.

I’m very concerned as I can’t visualize my future after I’ve graduated from university. I even wrote an email to my school professor to seek for advice if I wish to pursue a career in psychology, i.e. to be a psychologist or any other related career, in Singapore.

It’s easy to get tipped up or overwhelmed with questions like, “What do I do next?” or “What happens if?” when all that matters is, “Where do I start?” So let’s do exactly that, and start dealing with some of the trickiest issues we’ll face along the way.

Sometimes, I get ahead of myself before I even begin. I started thinking about next steps, five years down the road, what-ifs, or how it could all fail at a later date.

Anxiety creeps into me. What I’ve realised was that I focus on the future, which hasn’t happened yet, and I have no way of predicting. This cuts into focusing on the present. Turning my attention to be able to focus on the present requires real effort. It means doing what’s required, right now – and success still isn’t guaranteed. But if I don’t do the work, nothing will change, so why not at least try?

Finally, I came to a conclusion that I’ve been spending a second thinking about tomorrow that requires me to stop thinking about the work I should be today. I should spend my time worrying about what’s now, not what’s next. It’s the only way to ensure I do meaningful work regardless of an outcome I cannot predict or set.

“The future rewards those who press on. I don’t have time to feel sorry for myself. I don’t have time to complain. I’m going to press on.” – Barack Obama

Knowing Who Are You

24/06/201523/08/2026 / Wen / Leave a comment

The “Who Are You” question is one that you will be presented when we are relating to living our life. The lack of identity will lead to an aimless, unfulfilled and confused life.

People who suffer with identity issues are much easier to manipulate and be swayed from their proper lane in life. Many of us find ourselves in places or situations where we put on masks in order to fit in. We wear these disguises for so long that we lose ourselves in the process. We end up doing things and going down paths that we never intended because we feel as though we have to be something we’re not. The reason for this is not necessarily that people feel they aren’t goof enough, but that they don’t know who they are in the first place.

We usually adapt our behaviour to the demands of the social situation, and in ambiguous situations where we take our cues from the behaviour of others in that setting. We assumes that the external environment, or the behavioural context, can have both subtle and forceful effects on people’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. As a result, we conform to adopt the behaviour and opinions presented by other members even though individuals were judging matters of fact, not merely personal opinions, many caved in to conformity pressures.

According to the social psychologists, people conform merely for two reasons: first, they want to be accepted, approved, liked and not rejected by others; second, wanting to be correct and to understand the correct way to act in any given situation.

As stated earlier, the single largest battle in the war of living an satisfied life is that of identity. The decisions we make daily, even the small ones, have their roots tied directly to who we think we are. There are things that some people will absolutely refuse to do because it doesn’t up with their internal perception.

There was some point in my life where I really did not know who I was, why I am here. I’m still learning who I am in many respects, but now I have a much better handler on what my identity is.

According to Erikson’s lifespan theory, it stated that across our lifespan, we go through various stages which we meet ever changing psychosocial challenges. The completion of the work at each stage which Erikson termed as “crisis” prepares us to move on to the following stage. Erikson’s eight stages of psychosocial development behaviours that may be associated with healthy and unhealthy expressions of the self’s development and ego boundary growth of an individual at a particular stage of life.

Currently, I am in the Young Adulthood – the range of 20-40 years. It is the stage of Intimacy vs. Isolation. Young adult struggles to form close relationships and to gain capacity for intimate love.

Some people might have the expressions of Intimacy where an individual would like to maintain friendship, physical and emotional intimacy, participation in games, groups, being open, willing to interact, and able to make and keep commitments. Whilst, some people might have the expressions of Isolation and Self-Absorption such as sabotage relationship, withdraws, avoidance, defensive, self defeating behaviour, maintaining isolation, and questions job performance.

I would say this young adulthood phase is a very long process. Though you may not be able to articulate the answer easily, there should be something in your inner core that evokes peace if and when that question is posed.

At the end of the day, we must fight to discover, develop and maintain our core identity. Though we want to be authentically you, don’t get a “this is just the way I am” type of attitude. We want to become the greatest version of ourselves that we are meant to be.

A lot of who we are has to do with the talents, gifts, and passions. People are prone to give their life to what they are passionate about. The skills we develop and the talents we nature-nurture possess a great indicators that show where our greatest places of impact may be.

Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit – Aristotle

Getting Comfortable In My Own Skin

20/06/201523/08/2026 / Wen / Leave a comment

At the end of the day, the best gift one can give to the world is to just be yourself because we are awesome in our own way. Get comfortable in your own skin and be you. It is disheartening to see that many of the people who I came across place a low value on themselves. No matter what they do, they feel as though they are not good enough. You’re not alone, I am one of them too!

I find that many of these individuals are people-pleasers. People-pleaser is one of the nicest and most helpful people you know. According to Susan Newman, Ph.D, a New Jersey-based social psychologist and the author of The Book of No: 250 Ways to Say It—And Mean It and Stop People-Pleasing Forever, people-pleasers “want everyone around them to be happy and they will do whatever is asked of them to” keep it that way and they never say “no.” In the long run, it always ended being hurt because we cannot please everyone.

There comes a point where I have to realize that I am who I am and it is a great addition to the world. There will never be another soul exactly like me on this earth and there is a reason why I exist. I stopped putting on a mask and started being transparent about who I was with others and myself. I began to realize that others felt like it was “okay” to truly be ourselves. In this way, authentic relationship was able to formed as people no longer felt the need to mask up who we really are.

Being comfortable with who you are is a healthy understanding by acknowledging both positive and negatives qualities. It takes courage to cross the fear threshold of becoming comfortable in your own skin. Once you get over and embrace who you are and wired into that means of the environment, you will begin to operate in your true design when the right people find you.